Naruto Characters on Crack
by BubblesWantsTea
Summary: Expect the unexpected


Hello everyone! I hope you're all well. So, I was playing with some thoughts a couple of days ago for my original story and before I knew it, another story was ready to be published. So without further ado.

Orochimaru singing: "What a wonderful day it is today . I just recruited 1000000 ninja to destroy the Hidden Leaf. La la la!"

"I'm so happy for you, brother!" Jiraiya kisses Orochimaru on the forehead.

Orochimaru pushes Jiraiya back "ohno no no no, Jiraiya. No no no. No.

That stuff is too wild for me."

Orochimaru heads towards Tsunade.

Tsunade: "Hey oro, I bet you can't get that person's phone number."

Orochimaru smirks. " I'm not an old man yet, Tsunade. I can get his number and so much more.. Just watch and learn."

Orochimaru: "You, mustache guy!"

Mustache guy frightened,"Y-y-y-yes, traitor."

"Become my apprentice, and I'll make your mustache look better"

Mustache guy: ...

Orochimaru looks at his invisible watch."Hey, we've been talking for about 10 seconds now and you haven't offered me any food. That's extremely rude in some cultures, you know."

Tsunade shocked. "Wait is Oro trying to get free food?"

"Mustache guy isn't even holding a lunchbox, Tsunade." Jiraiya giggled.

"Good observation. Oro, I bet you 50 grand he won't give you food." Tsunade yelled.

Mustache guy: "If I give you something to eat, does that mean I'll never have to see you again?"

Orochimaru: "Maybe? Hey, are you done being scared? That's so rude!"

Mustache guy: " S-s-sorry. If you give me some time, I'll bring you food-d-d."

"There is no time, you fool. At any minute, some crazy lunatic could march into Konoha with a huge army and kill your hokage! Do you understand ?!"

Mustache guy, confused. "But why would he-"

Orochimaru face palms himself: "Were you not paying attention to the story? He's a l-u-n-a-t-i-c."

"Oh wow. He would have to be really strong and really smart to pull off killing the hokage. "

Orochimaru: "Finally some appreciation, thank you! Now, will you give me my snack or should I stalk you?!"

Mustache guy: "Y-y-y-yes, sama. Here you go"

He pulls a bowl of fresh, hot ramen from under his shirt along with some money and hands it to Orochimaru.

"K-keep the change."

Jiraiya and Tsunade exclaim in horror "How did he do that?"

"Only body snatchers get this privilege, ladies. Can you feel the respect?"

"No fair!" Jiraiya grumbled. "I want to be a body snatcher too!"

Orochimaru turns around and gives a victory sign to an imaginary camera.

"You're not a schoolgirl, Orochimaru." Jiraiya yelled.

Orochimaru places his hand on his hips and yells back with a spoon full of ramen noodles in his mouth: " I'm the master of my sea and the boss of me! You can't tell me what you do! Yeah! "

Tsunade : "I have an objection."

Orochimaru: "What now?"

Tsunade: "So I've never once said anything about your snake-ish face and body mutations because that's who you've always been and I didn't want to make you feel excluded just because you're a minority."

Orochimaru hands Jiraiya popcorn cone and a soda and both take a seat.

Jiraiya pokes a popcorn a couple of times before munching it all down.

"But mainly, your mutations were supported by science and I respect science. However, I cannot respect that mustache of yours because it's unscientific of that much hair to grow in any one area in just 5 minutes."

Jiraiya: "If that's true then why don't my armpits shave? Liar! And Tsunade please stop pretending like you're into science. You're 35! Grow up already!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. 

"You, disrespectful unworthy of love. Barbarian." Orochimaru exclaims.

"Yeah, exactly. You're disrespectful and a barbarian who's unworthy of love, Tsunade!" Jiraiya yelled.

"Treacherous fiend!" Orochimaru screeched.

Looking at Orochimaru, "You know I like this one better because it's shorter. I appreciate your creativity though. Hear that Tsunade? You're a treacherous fien- hey what did you do that for?!"

Orochimaru: "You weren't supposed to eat the popcorn all at once! Has no one taught you proper popcorn-eating etiquette! Not more than a handful at a time. Ugh."

"Did you have to spill the soda on me though!"

Orochimaru sees Tsunade stepping closer.

"Here, Tsunade. I was saving this one for you. You must be tired of all that talking."

Jiraiya: "Pfft, that's all she ever do- hey what the heck?! Today is not spill sodas on Jiraiya day...That was last week!"

Tsunade turning red, repeating Jiraiya's previous words " Disrespectful. Unworthy of love. Barbarian-"

Jiraiya grows smaller with each word.

Tsunade:" Treacherous fiend!"

Ino with her headphones in her ears. "Hey can you guys keep it down a bit. You're all standing right next to each other."

"Oh, yeah. Thanks for the save."Jiraiya yells, waving at some other girl.

"I'm right in front of you." Ino yells annoyed.

Tsunade with her arms crossed. "See now. I hate when people don't do what they preach. It makes you look superficial. So, why are You yelling."

Ino exasperated. "That's what Im saying. Everyone is standing so close to each other. So let's all keep it down. Okay?"

"Girl , your pants are offensive." Orochimaru commented after sucking on a lollipop

"A lollipop too." Jiraiya exclaimed. "That's it! I've had enough of this!"  
He takes out his phone and enrolls in the class: body snatching 101. "There, haha. He looks at the sky. I'm ready for some free stuff."

"I think you'll have to like you know talk to these Homo sapiens for that." Tsunade said applying nail polish.

"Really, Orochimaru. Is that how this is done?!"

"Um. Sure?"

"Ah, okay. Orochimaru come with me."

"Can't. Just got my nails done. "Orochimaru blows at his nails.

Jiraiya: "What the-"

"Hey, do you want to use my nail polish when I'm done Oro?"

Orochimaru: "Is that emerald? oh god. I love that shade!"

Tsunade:"Me too! We should hang out sometime."

Orochimaru: "I'm busy with world domination these days but I'm free on Thursdays?"

"Ok, cool! But after 5pm. I have to do community service."

"Nice?"

"Mehh."

Orochimaru: "Post world domination everything will be lovelier."

Tsunade: "Is that the second part of the world domination movie?"

"Um, no. It involves planting an army of mutated humans and giving them powers so we can destroy every nation's leader."

Tsunade: "Oooh, interesting game. I'll play."

Orochimaru stands confused "Really? I could use another sannin. It'll make everything more convenient."

Tsunade: "And fun?"

Orochimaru: "Um. Sure."

Tsunade ,excited. "So we're meeting on Thursday before 5pm to do each other's nails?"

Orochimaru: "Yessss! Can I ask for a favor."

Tsunade: "Sure, dude. We've all known each other like since forever. I would do anything for you guys."

Jiraiya: "Aww. Let's hug."

Jiraiya Is ignored.

"Can you paint my left pinky right now, old friend?"

Tsunade, suddenly serious. "Look pal, you're in your 30s now meaning you have to learn to be independent and mature. It ain't gonna be like before. So you have to have to put on your big boy shoes and learn to paint your pinky yourself, capeesh?"

"That was so beautiful," orochimaru wipes his tears. "I am willing to try." He smiles while crying.

"Why are you both like this. What happened to you Orochimaru?" Jiraiya cries.

Orochimaru perfectly normal again. "Oh, my therapist said I should do what makes me happy. So, I'm doing me now."

Tsunade : "You have a therapist too, that's so cool! We need to hang out on Thursday for sure!"

Jiraiya: "Ok Tsunade, please go do your laundry."

Tsunade: "I beg. your. pardon!"

Orochimaru while painting his nails, "You're such a misogynist cow sometimes."

"Well, yeah. You told me to remind you 45minutes later. Also, you're hogging orochimaru all to yourself. He's my friend too, ya know." Jiraiya half yells.

Sasuke : " Can you all just stop? You do realize that we're all standing right next to each other. Like literally. You're being a disturbance."

Orochimaru with stars in his eyes. "My oh my. Aren't you a healthy looking young man. Tell me did you get all your vaccinations? "

Sasuke: "Yeah. Why?"

Orochimaru: "Would you be interested in giving your mind, body, and soul to science?"

After blankly staring at Orochimaru for 10 seconds "I'll pass. Now if you'll excuse me, if going to turn around and pretend like you all don't exist."

"Wait, wait. Do you have an older brother? No-wait. I drive a really cool car!"

Jiraiya: "Pfft. No you don't"

"Shhh, he doesn't know that!"

Jiraiya: "Well, he does now."

Orochimaru puts his face in his hands.

"Someone mentioned me?"

Jiraiya and Tsunade in unison : "It's Itachi Uchiha!"

Jiraiya: "Quick hide before Sasuke finds out you're here!"

"It's cool. We're not killing each other anymore."

Tsunade: "He forgave you for killing his parents?"

"Yeah. I just told him it's the leaf's fault. So, we're both good now."

Tsunade snorts. " That's like a trend these days. Whenever something goes wrong, blame the leaf."

Itachi: "Yup. By the way, are you on social media, Tsunade?"

Shikamaru: "Could you just stop? She's a married woman. And why are you and Orochimaru even here? This is a community event for the HIDDEN LEAF citizens. You both turned your backs ages ago."

Temari with her hands on her hips: "Well, I'm not from the Hidden Leaf. Should I leave too?"

Shikamaru: "You're my wife! Of course, you're a citizen. Right, Tsunade?"

Tsunade fixing her wig, "Why are you asking me?"

"Because you're the hokage?!"

Orochimaru: "Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?"

Tsunade: "I stopped being the hokage ages ago. Talk to Kakashi."

Orochimaru inspecting Kakashi, "This silver haired dude? You can't even see his face"

Shikamaru: "Well, Kakashi?"

Kakashi: "Try again."

Temari: "See. I'm leaving!"

Kakashi: "What I meant was that I'm not the hokage. Ask someone else."

Orochimaru horrified."What is going on here?"

Temari starts to leave.

Tsunade: "Wait. Since you're Shikamru's wife we can technically consider you a citizen. "

Gaara begins to walk away.

Temari spots him. "Brother, you made it! Why are you leaving?"

Gaara turns around and fixes his hat. Clearing his throat "Ahem. It's good to see you, Temari and.. everyone else. I was just here on official buiness. Have a wonderful day. See you soon, Temari."

Temari starts to cry.

Shikamaru panicked. "You don't have to leave brother-in-law."

Kakashi: "It wouldn't be good for our economy if the world found out we kicked out the Kazekage. Please stay."

Gaara in a rushed manner . "The people of Konoha have treated me wonderfully. I-I should lea-"

Kankuro: "What Kazekage?" Takes hat from Gaara and puts in on his head.

Everyone present is shocked.

Jiraiya: "You're the Kazekage, Kankuro?"

Kankuro : "Well duh. I AM the older brother. Is there anyone remotely smart at this dull party?"

Itachi spots Hinata. "Hey, Hinata. Can I get your phone number?"

Hinata: "Um.. Hey. 876-987-" Sees everyone writing down her number and freezes.

Tsunade: "Come on! Just one more digit!"

Itachi: "So is it a 1 at the end?"

Shikamaru: "Leave her alone. She's married! I think you should go Itachi. It's not like you live here anymore."

Hinata: "Um-"

Gaara starts to leave

Temari: "Brother, don't go yet. We still have a lot to catch up on."

Shikamaru exasperated: "Gaara please stay."

Kakashi: "Men, bring Gaara the finest quality of food. He's the the Kazekage's brother after all. We don't want to upset him."

Kankuro: "Um. What about me? You know, the Kazekage"

Sakura: "I agree with Shikamaru. I think that's enough, Itachi. It's time to go home."

Sasuke: "That's your future brother-in-law you're talking to, Sakura. Be more nice."

Sakura: "FYI, I'm married Sasuke and actually, I'm YOUR sister-in-law. By the way, there is no nice way of telling someone to leave."

Orochimaru eating popcorn : "Whaaaaaaaaat?"

Tsunade, eats popcorn with Orochimaru: "Ikr, that's some serious soap opera stuff going on."

Jiraiya: "Cheating, cheating!"

Sasuke: "This is a betrayal!"

Sakura: "I know you're crazy in love with me but I couldn't wait for you forever."

Sasuke: "Excuse me, you were the one who followed me everywhere and wanted to marry me!"

Everyone: "Yeah..He's right."

Sakura exasperated: "Okay, fine. I know you're not crazy, madly in love with me the way I always wanted you to be and when I said I'll wait for you, you we're like yeah, okay if that's what you want. You never told me how you actually felt about me and then I found someone who did. " Sakura smiles at Itachi.

Everyone: "Awww"

Sasuke: "How did you two meet anyways? It's not like Itachi lives here."

Itachi: " Yet. Well, it was a cold winter night or was a cold winter morning? Anyways, it was really windy and getting dark."

Sasuke sighed. "Skip the description."

"So Sakura was picking flowers right outside of Kanoha, which was super hands were full and she was having a hard time because of the wind and that's when I swooped in and decided to help."

Sasuke sarcastically, "Always wanting to be the hero."

Itachi: "That day I was going to Kanoha to see you, little brother."

Sasuke:"You always have some excuse you, Itachi. Tell me, did you know that Sakura had a thing for me?"

Itachi: "Yes, she did mention something about that but she seemed so unhappy. When I first laid eyes on her, I knew I would do anything to make her happy. Besides, you know what they say, all is fair in love and war." Itachi smiles.

Sakura, frustrated: " Thank you, Itachi. Meeting you is the best thing that's happened to me. Sasuke, do you see what I'm talking about.

You really did feel nothing for me."

Sasuke: "Let me talk to my brother first. We haven't had many opportunities to talk like this since you know, he killed the people I loved and abandoned me!"

Tsunade:"Are you getting all this, Kakashi?"

"Huh?" Kakashi puts his book away, "That Itachi doesn't know the difference between day and night?"

Tsunade: "Kakashi, you need to pay attention. As fomer hokages, it is up to us to solve everyone's problems."

Kakashi closing his eyes : " Even though this is their personal problem and seeing a therapist would be a better option as neither of us have had any successful relationships.. I completely understand your point, Tsunade. It is truly up to us."

Sasuke mockingly: "okay, so tell me this, Sakura. If Itachi loves you so much, why is he asking for every girl's contact information?"

Tsunade: "That's so true! You slime! Off with this cheater's head."

Jiraiya: "Yeah, let's hang Sasuke!"

Orochimaru: "Actually we're talking about Itachi, the other cheating brother now. Can you give me his body when you're done hanging him?"

Itachi, sighing : "Well I just wanted advice on what I should get Sakura for our first anniversary and I thought Tsunade and Hinata would have some cool ideas... that's all." Itachi lowers his head.

Everyone: "Awww."

Tsunade and Orochimaru cry, "That's so sweet!"

Itachi: "Thanks for ruining the surprise, Sasuke."

Sasuke smirking, " What were you saying about things being fair in love and war?"

Ino realizing that Sasuke is still single, runs to him, "You know I always thought you and I were meant for each other. It seems that it's what destiny wants as well."

Sasuke staring blankly at Ino, "Do I know you?"

Sai dragging a crying Ino back, "You have me, remember?"

Itachi awakening his Sharingan, " I should have ended you a long time ago."

"Bring it on." Sasuke awakens his Sharingan.

Kakashi: "Now, now boys. This is an anti-violence zone. If you want to kill each other, please choose another location."

Kakashi to Tsunade: "How am I doing?"

Tsunade gives me the thumbs up.

Hinata: "Um.. Excuse me guys?"

Shikamaru: "I think you should really leave, Itachi. You don't belong here."

Sakura annoyed, "He's married to me, remember Shikamaru? And Itachi that was so sweet of you to think about me like that. You're perfect."

Shikamaru :" Oh yeah, what a drag!"

He sees Gaara making another exit "Relatives are welcome too." He yells at the top of his lungs.

Kakashi: " Gaara, that bag you have on your back looks so heavy. Do you need help Kazekage's brother?"

Kankuro rolls his eyes.

Gaara clears his throat, "I'm fine. Thank you."

Kakashi pulls on the bag."I insist."

Gaara: "Please, dont."

The bag is torn revealing toddler clothing.

Everyone looks at Gaara shocked.

Tsunade, picking up a little boy's shorts, "What's going on Gaara? You're a little too old for pretend play, no?"

Gaara: "It's for the village boys."

Tsunade: "Oh, I see. That's fine-"

Temari yells. "He adopted a little boy. Stop picking on my little brother."

Everyone stares at Gaara.

Tsunade: "That's very noble of you. Nothing to be ashamed of."

Gaara, annoyed "Thanks a lot, Temari. This is why I don't visit you. You can't keep things to yourself."

Temari starts to cry.

Shikamaru, calming Temari, " I think you should leave, Gaara. I know you might feel that this is unfair but-"

Gaara: "With pleasure."

Kakashi to Kankuro: "Kazekage sir, we are honored that you are here today."

Kankuro: " So now you notice me? I've been here for a while."

Temari stops Gaara: "Please forgive me. I just didn't want you to hide anymore, ya know. Now, you're free."

Gaara, smiling. "I suppose you're right, thank you. I'm not going anywhere."

Kakashi, ignoring Kankuro's complaints, "Please send my love to the 5 kazes. Farewell."

Kankuro:"Hey, wait! Can I get some food? I'm really hungry. Hello."

Hinata yells, "Excuse me!"

Everyone covers their ears.

Shikamaru: "You know you didn't have to yell. We're all right here."

Hinata in her normal voice: "I've been trying to tell everyone that I'm not married to anyone anymore. I'm a single pringle. and this pringle is ready to mingle.."

Kakashi: "You're single are you."

Hinata: "Yes. Would you like to marry me and get the opportunity to spend every waking minute with me forever, Kakashi sensei?"

Kakashi covering his already covered mouth with his hand, embarrassed "Um. That's very forward of you, Hinata. Maybe in another life."

Hinata: "Ok, sure. I'll call you tomorrow and then we can plan something."

Kakashi: ...

Sakura: "But what about you and Naruto?"

Hinata, enraged, "I don't know. He must be in a jungle swinging from vines and eating bananas."

Jiraiya mind blown, "That sicko"

Hinata: "He is!"

Jiraya: "He never told me that he was Tarzan."

Hinata: ...

Tsunade: "I can see you're upset. Is it okay if I ask what happened?"

Hinata sighs, "After we married, all he did was talk about Sasuke."

Sasuke happily, "My fan~"

Hinata: "About how he would defeat Sasuke one day. He said all sorts of mean things about him and woud go out into the jungle in the morning to train and come back the next morning."

Sasuke matter-of-factly: "Pfft, Naruto is such a dweeb. He has no life."

Sakura: " .god. That's one of the reasons why I left Sasuke. Day and night, it was always about Naruto. Sheesh."

Sasuke glares at Sakura

Hinata: "It's annoying, right."

Tsunade: "I think you guys should meet on Thursdays. You would have a lot to talk about!"

Kakashi: "So if Naruto left in the morning only to come back and leave again the next morning, how did you two see each other?"

Hinata, happily "That's exactly what I mean. He was never home! Thank you for getting me, Kakashi sensei. Are you available on weekends?"

Kakashi looks for Gaara but sees him talking to Temari, "Kazekage, what's your favorite color?"

Sakura: "You did the right thing, Hina"

Hina: "Thanks. I was just so tired of hearing him talk about Naruto and wanting to become the hokage."

Orochimaru: "Everyone stop!"

Everyone freezes.

"So who is the hokage?"

Everyone looks at each other.

Sakura: "That will be me as soon as I take the exam."

Sasuke: "What in the world, Sakura?!"

Sakura: "Yeah, I bet you regret being so cold to me now. You could have been husband of the hokage, but forget it now."

Jiraiya: "Wow, we're going to have a female hokage. That's a first."

Tsunade glares at him.

Jiraiya: "I-I didn't mean it like that. I meant she's the first female who wants to be the hokage."

Orochimaru: "okay, okay. So the pink princess will be the hokage in the future but where's Sarutobi?"

Tsunade and Jiraiya sadly, "He's dead dude."

Orochimaru: "Whaaaaaat? How?"

Jiraiya, annoyed: "He exchanged his life for popcorn. He died of old age ! Do you know how old he was?"

Tsunade tearfully, "He left this letter for you. We didn't open it."

Orochimaru opens it. "My dear Orochimaru... you were right, okay? you were right! I was wrong. Continue doing your wicked experiments. I want to be immortal too.."

Orochimaru crying. "Oh, master. I only wanted you to acknowledge me."

Jiraiya: "So.. are you going to destroy Kanoha now?"

Orochimaru kicks his foot.

"Ow, what was that for?"

"You accused me of something vile and treacherous-"

Everyone: "We know you're here with your army to attack."

"Darn it. How did you all know?"  
Sasuke: "Who else would be dumb enough to attack Konoha while we still have two Sannins."

Tsunade: "Wait. So you weren't talking about a board game, Oro? You're here to destroy Kanoha?"

Orochimaru: "No, I only wanted Sarutobi to meet his maker."

Tsunade: "I'm unfriending you on vasemook!"

Shikamaru: "I think everyone will agree with me when I say this. You should leave Orochimaru. That's the punishment for your crime."

Kakashi : "Um. Shikamaru, he didn't kill Sarotubi. He only planned it. So we can't punish him."

Shikamaru: "What, so we just let him go. He's a bad person. What do you say, Tsunade?"

Tsunade: "I really want nothing to do with you,Orochimaru. We are no longer meeting on Thursdays and that's final."

Orochimaru: "That's fine. Just hand me my 50 grand and leave this town and you won't see me again."

Tsunade snorts. "You're clearly out of your mind. We would I give you 50 grand?"

Jiraiya putting a hand on Orochimaru's shoulder, "I know this is hard for you, Tsunade but as a pretend woman of science you must remember the bet you made at the beginner of this story."

Tsunade enraged, "I am a woman of science, you hater and shouldn't you be on my side?"

Orochimaru: "I'm letting you all know this beforehand. I'll be using that money to build a mansion for myself here."

Tsunade: "Wait, you're not a citizen so you can't stay here. Haha"

Orochimaru: "You know that makes no sense. I will be a citizen if I live here."

Shikamaru: "But you can't because you don't have any relatives or a spouse here, Orochimaru so I think you should-"

Orochimaru shows everyone his ring.

Jiraiya: "What in the world?"

Orochimaru: "Yes, while you were all talking on and on about unimportant things, I proposed to someone and they said yes. Oh, and they live here so ha ha ha tsunade, in your face."

Kakashi: "Who agreed to marry you?"

Jiraiya looks at Tsunade  
Tsunade: "What are you looking at?"

Shikamaru looks at Temari  
Temari: "Are you crazy? He's a SNAKE."

Sai looks at Ino  
Sai : "Oh, yeah. That's not Sasuke. Never mind."

Tsunade: Why did you think I would marry Orochimaru?

Jiraiya: "You've had so many past relationships. There was Dan and then... wait, was it only Dan."

Tsunade: "It wasn't just Dan!"

Jiraiya: "See!"

"Dan was everything to me. The word only and Dan can never be in the same sentence. Do you hear me?"

Jiraiya scratching his head, "Loud and clear."

Kakashi: "Shikamaru, you get really insecure when it comes to Temari. Why is that?"

Shikamaru tired: "She sneaks out a lot especially at night and is gone for days at times."

Everyone is shocked.

Temari: "I only sneak out so I can help Gaara with his son, Shinki."

Gaara: "She telling the truth."

Shikamaru: "Oh..."

Jiraiya: "Hold on. So if it's not any of you, who's marrying this snake?"

A random woman raises her hand.

Jiraiya: "Why?"

Random woman: "He promised me immortality."

Jiraiya: "He's going to kill you and take over your body."

Random woman: "Okay. I change my mind."

Tsunade: "Ha ha ha ha"

Orochimaru spots Hinata. "You're single and ready to pringle, right?"

Hinata fearfully: "It's mingle."

"Stop right there. My cousin will not marry you."

Orochimaru shocked. "Weren't you like dead or something."

Neiji mockingly, "You assumed Sarutobi was alive and I was dead. What rock have you been living under?"

Orochimaru: "How do we know that you're not a ghost?"

Tsunade: "Anyways, it's been decided. Leave Orochimaru."

Orochimaru whispers in Tsunade's ear: "If I leave, I'll be taking 50 grand for sure. Help me stay here and I'll reduce your debt to 10 grand."

Tsunade: "Make it 9 and a half."

Orochimaru stares at Tsunade blankly. "Deal."

Tsunade: "Everyone, it's in our best interest to keep Orochimaru with us."

Shikamaru: "Orochimaru is a mass murderer. Besides no other nations wants him."

Tsunade: " That's exactly why we should keep THIS murderer. No nation wants him so we should. We can show everyone that we're unique."

Everyone starts questioning Tsunade's judgement.

Kakashi to Sakura: "This is one of the reasons Tsunade was forced to resign."

Sakura: "She didn't step down because she didn't want the position anymore?"

Kakashi sighs: "Nope... Excuse me, everyone. Firstly, for his previous crime, Orochimaru will be paying a fine of 50 grand and do community service until further notice."

Orochimaru: "You crazy white-haired old man-"

Tsunade pumps fist in air.

Kakashi continues: "In return,we are keeping Orochimaru because with 3 Sannins, no one will dare attack us."

Orochimaru: "You wise, angelic, sweet, sweet man."

Kakashi: "So Orochimaru will be living in Kanoha. What do you say future hokage?"

Sakura: "Only if he's kept under surveillance for at least one year. So, will you take the deal or not, Orochimaru?"

Jiraiya: "So about the money Tsunade has to pay Orochimaru?"

Sakura: "Orochimaru will decline to take that amount and will do community service. I think that's a good deal."

Orochimaru: "Fine, I'll take it if I can come to future community events."

Sakura smiles. "Deal."

She sees Kakashi.

"I think you decided to give up the position of the hokage on your own. You're too valuable for them to kick you out of the office." 

Kakashi shrugs.

Sakura: "You're not going to tell are you. I figured as much."

Orochimaru: "Future hokage, will I have to wear a uniform?"

Sakura: "Um. No, I don't think we have to go to that extent."

Orochimaru: "I insist."

Sakura: " Oookay, then..."

Itachi smiles. " Ready to go home, superstar?"

Sakura smiles back. "I would love to."

A/N: What did you guys think about the story? Was it crazy, amusing or heartwarming? 

All thoughts and opinions are welcome!


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